overcomee

Fri, 23 Oct 2009 05:45:56 GMT

I look at you, and I want to be a better person.

Wed, 21 Oct 2009 04:40:09 GMT

Why is it that I always want to be anywhere but here? Maybe my decision to go to nursing school isn't such a good one. I feel like I'm stuck here now. I don't know what else I can see myself going to school for. I don't know what else I could stand doing with my life. I know it's not here. And I sure as hell am not going to stay in this shitty state for the rest of my waste of life. I want to be excited about life but I'm not. I miss the way I felt when I was a kid. My birthday is on Friday and all I can think about is the fact that I don't want to be here anymore. I want to be happy and I'm not. He's mad at me again and I can't handle it. I'm so busy with school and I don't have fun anymore. I need another job so I can make more money so I can save up and get a car. I wish things were easier. I wish I hadn't crashed my car and I wish that the battery didn't die and I wish that the starter didn't die and I wish that I had the money to get my license back and a new car and all that cool stuff. I hate my life I really do.

Someone should probably be my friend. I could use a friend.

I just rambled. Sorry.

Mon, 14 Sep 2009 04:13:10 GMT

I am not the end of the world; though, I would like to be.

Wed, 12 Aug 2009 14:18:32 GMT

I wish she would just live up to what she said.

Mon, 03 Aug 2009 03:35:29 GMT

I'M ALWAYS AT A FUCKING STAND STILL.

Sun, 02 Aug 2009 16:07:40 GMT

I will not give in. I will not give in. I will not give in. I will not give in. I will not give in. I will not give in. I will not give in. I will not give in. I will not give in. I will not give in. I will not give in. I will not give in. I will not give in. I will not give in. I will not give in. I will not give in. I will not give in. I will not give in. I will not give in. I will not give in. I will not give in. I will not give in. I will not give in. I will not give in. I will not give in. I will not give in. I will not give in. I will not give in. I will not give in. I will not give in. I will not give in. I will not give in. I will not give in. I will not give in. I will not give in. I will not give in. I will not give in. I will not give in. I will not give in. I will not give in.

I think this is the hardest it's ever been. Maybe it's everything that's going on right now.

Wed, 29 Jul 2009 02:30:11 GMT

I'm bad at sex and love and everything else.

Thu, 23 Jul 2009 05:38:35 GMT

I'm thinking about all the wrong things

Sun, 19 Jul 2009 06:24:21 GMT

Having the worst luck.

Sun, 21 Jun 2009 14:00:56 GMT

" I might have my money woes or whatever and things might not always be doing so good, but I'm fucking STOKED."

I love my father.

Thu, 18 Jun 2009 22:20:28 GMT

I'm worried that thinking too much about what I'm going to be will make me lose who I am, and I'm not sure if that's a good or bad thing.

Sun, 07 Jun 2009 05:08:23 GMT

Remember a time when things were good.

Sat, 06 Jun 2009 14:16:27 GMT

Things just got real complicated, and no one knows but me.

Mon, 01 Jun 2009 04:20:20 GMT

I wonder how long it'll be until I feel completely alone again. Why am I even thinking about this right now? I guess I'm just sick of being alone.

There's still one person in the world that I want to believe me but they don't care.

Completely irrelevant. Whatev. I just can't stop thinking about it.

Wed, 27 May 2009 02:52:00 GMT

I remember when we were younger and you had life in your eyes and a heart in your chest. I miss thinking of you as something that I wanted to become. For the past 4 years, I have thought of you as something that I should avoid becoming; at all costs. I try not to think about it too much because it's just one of those things that I can't control; one of those things that will continue to happen no matter what I do. I want you to be better. I want to think of you as a good person again. I don't want to be afraid that you'll steal from me. I don't want to think of you as someone I hate. I don't hate you but most of the time I try my very hardest to. Sometimes I wonder what you could have been and I hate myself for not somehow talking you out of making bad decisions. I know it's probably stupid to think that I could have stopped you from ruining your life, but even though I'm two years younger I wish, wish, wish I could have done something to prevent this. I don't know you anymore and I hate that.

Tue, 26 May 2009 21:09:54 GMT

It's just that I really do not want to wake up one morning and wonder who the fuck I am and where the fuck I'm going. I don't want to think it's okay just because I have a fucking hand to hold.

This has nothing to do with anyone; just in case you thought it did.

Tue, 26 May 2009 19:50:36 GMT

Everything is a fucking waste of time.

Tue, 26 May 2009 04:31:59 GMT

I danced as hard as possible tonight and it was great.

Fri, 22 May 2009 00:30:27 GMT

I wrecked my car Tuesday morning on my way to Orlando. I hydroplaned and hit a tree. The whole drivers side is smashed in but it's still drivable. Seriously, the scariest thing that has ever happened to me. I really thought I was going to die. It was pretty lucky that I was wearing my seatbelt.

Tue, 19 May 2009 01:41:12 GMT

Sometimes when I'm mad, or hurt, or just upset I say things I don't mean.

Wed, 13 May 2009 02:21:28 GMT

I think about too many things.

Moving the rest of the stuff in tomorrow.

I feel like it's later in the week right now.

Sun, 10 May 2009 13:37:46 GMT

Reasons I'm excited:
1. It's not in Wellington.
2. It's east.
3. It's in Lake Worth.
4. There is a bathtub.
5. It's not too small.
6. I can go to the beach whenever I want.
7. Thrift stores all over the place.
8. I can bike places.
9. My dad says he loves it.
10. It'll take me like 5 minutes to walk to Mother Earth.
11. I don't have to deal with being so far away from everything anymore.
12. I'm going to be fit and tan. ;)

There are probably a whole bunch more but I'm just too excited right now. My dad is taking my mom to go see the apartment today and they're going to finalize it and we're going to start moving stuff in tomorrow hopefully. I should be able to go see it tonight after work.

SO FUCKING STOKED.

Sat, 09 May 2009 01:36:17 GMT

"Wow, this is just, I can't believe you just answered the phone like you didn't hate me."
"It's because I'm stoned."

No, that was really said.
No, I haven't got anyone left.
No, I don't want to be here.

Sat, 09 May 2009 00:17:29 GMT

So, I'm drivin' to work right and I'm thinkin' crazy, I'm thinkin' crazy and you know what I realized? I realized that if I were to miss the Indiantown exit I would just keep going.

So done with this place.

I need some new faces.

Thu, 07 May 2009 02:46:20 GMT

Working a lot.
Moving next week.

Still sad a lot.
Still wondering what the world out there feels like.